Tips for Getting Along in a Stepfamily

Therapist Kit Baker directs his thoughts to kids in this article, but his advice can apply to adults in stepfamilies, too.

Here’s the situation: Your parents are divorced, maybe for a year now, maybe for as long as you can remember. You’ve become used to things being a certain way in your home and family.

Then one day, your parent starts dating again and falls in love. Perhaps the person your parent is dating also has kids.

Maybe you really like your parent’s new love interest and get along with their kids. Maybe you realize early on how much your personality clashes with the other kids or the love interest. Or, perhaps you only like them in small amounts and they quickly get on your nerves.

Before you know it, your parent is marrying this person and your world, as you know it, is turned completely upside down. New people have moved into your house, or you’re moving into their house, possibly leaving behind friends, school, and your life as you know it, for better or for worse.

You now find yourself living with new people with their own ways of doing things, their own history, their own quirks, and their own drama. You are now what’s called a blended family, or stepfamily.